The Promise of Soon
by Scriptor of Lacuna
Summary: A seemingly innocent gift from Castle sends Kate on a journey to rediscover her past and possibly a wall-less future. Post "Cuffed." Romance/Angst/Humour/Friendship.
1. A Stone's Throw

**Title:** The Promise of Soon

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything regarding _Castle_. All rights belong to ABC and Andrew Marlowe.

**Spoilers**: Anything up to 4x10 (mild spoilers for 4x11).

**Summary**: A seemingly innocent gift from Castle sends Kate on a holiday journey to rediscover her past and possibly discover a wall-less future.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

A Stone's Throw

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><p>The morning found its way through the patchwork of mystery. It tickled and teased her face with a morning kiss. A sweet and warm reminder that there was always light where it once was dark.<p>

She took a step forward and traced her thumb and finger along one of the papers near the bottom of the window and shutters. Her eyes scanned all that was before her: names, dates and details. All familiar. Too familiar.

On the sill, next to her half-eaten, congealed bowl of oatmeal and cold coffee, was a box. It wasn't cardboard. That was too common, too weak to hold what was needed. It wasn't metal either. A part of her didn't want it fireproof. It was wooden. Plain. Ordinary. Anyone who saw it would think just that. She would know of course, because it was meant to do what she couldn't anymore.

With a flick of her wrist, she plucked the paper she had between her fingers from its spot on the window, allowing more light to come in.

Then her hand stilled.

Did she have them memorized? Years of looking over the same words made sure of that. Would time make them fade? Did she want them to fade?

Kate pinched the paper tighter. Her gaze moved from the task at hand to her mother's picture at the top of the shutters. An image of Johanna trapped in death. A moment that seemed so great that all others fell somewhere else. Somewhere where dismissed memories of her mother were trapped in happiness.

She felt it then.

It usually happened in proximity to a certain writer. More recently, however, it happened when he wasn't there. In the morning when she could almost hear her name being said by his deep voice, or late at night when she stared into darkness wishing eyes of blue sought her out along with strong arms.

It was the strongest when she was here in front of this window. Here it rummaged within her chest, gathering forces, making thirteen years worth stone grow week. There were already cracks lured by his smile and coffee. In places there were holes summoned by his childish enthusiasm and laugh. Some parts were already in small piles of rubble welcomed by the promise of always and remembered words of love.

"Rick."

His name fell about her apartment like small flat stones that she hoped to skip across to him one day. Would he be there, though, to catch them in the aftermath of what she had been trying to do for weeks now?

As she looked up at the haloed picture of her mother, she wished the deep, rich tone of her mother's voice would float over the apartment, giving her permission.

Instead, her phone started to buzz, drawing her towards her desk.

"Beckett," she answered.

"_Tis __the __season.__" _Rang Esposito's voice.

"Another Santa?"

"_No, the Mrs."_

"Send me the location and I'll call Castle." She was about to hang up when the phone but she heard him call out to her.

"_Wait...I__ could__ call __Castle,__ if __you __want.__"_

"Why?"

"'_Cause we have Santa and a bunch of elves as prime suspects and..."_

She smiled, knowing that Esposito and Ryan liked to feed off of Castle's warped love of mystery and run theory with him just as much as she did.

"You just want to hear his deep morning voice." Her body froze at her words and waited for it.

"_Hang__ on__ a__ sec...__" _Esposito eventually responded before moving his mouth away from the his phone, "_Hey __Ryan?__ Did__ you __know__ that__ Castle__ has__ a __deep__ morning__ voice?__"_ Esposito asked his partner causing Kate to inwardly curse.

She heard Ryan answer, "_I__ had__ my__ suspicions. __We __better __ask__ Castle__ to __confirm__ that.__"_

"_Beckett? I'll be sure to ask Castle that when I-"_

"I'll call him."

She hung up and looked at other hand. The paper wasn't there anymore. At some point she had let it go. It had floated into the box. Swiftly, she snatched it from its confines. This dance between paper and box had been going on for weeks now. With a slow shake of her head, she placed the paper back in it's place on her make-shift murder board.

She shouldn't have started this now. Not during this time of year. Not when January loomed so close. When would be the right time? That question pummeled her for a moment before she resigned herself to try again that evening. Now, she had a murder to solve. A different murder.

With one hand she picked up her phone and dialed his number, waiting to hear his deep voice say her name. With the other hand, Kate grabbed the ends of the shutters and slowly closed the doors until nothing could be seen.

* * *

><p>He just couldn't see it. The early morning light streaming into his office wasn't helping either.<p>

Rick could plot any murder he wanted and skyrocket to the New York times bestseller list, but the one staring at him now was proving to be a mystery he may never know the ending to. Fitting in a way, since he couldn't really figure her out either.

Somethings he knew. Others though, oh how he wanted to discover them. Kiss them. Hold them. Memorized them.

He got a few new glimpses when they were cuffed together. Bossy, intelligent and beautiful were all there, but he also saw her fear up close and unguarded. How she tried more than once to shield him. Protect him and comfort him. And how she let him do the same for her. How could he not? No tiger or strong hand behind her bullet would touch her. He wanted a lifetime or morning conversations that were drowsy from slumber and play, and waking up to her face. Those eyes. Morning eyes of misted deciduous forests framed by her hair. It was an intoxicating invitation to a future he longed for.

He ran his hands over his face hoping some sense could be rubbed in. He had been staring at her picture on this screen for hours, for months. Not just hers, but images of those who could be and were involved in her mother's killing and Kate's shooting.

Rick had asked her to wait. To put off solving her mother's murder and to his knowledge she had done so. Now, it was up to him. This was his mess to clean up. He had drudged it up years ago and asked her to do the impossible: to let go.

If she could then he would hold on enough for both of them and solve it for her. Take some of her darkness and wear it. She could be happy in the waiting, and in the end she could have the closure she needed.

Until then...was it still enough?

Was he enough?

His phone started to demanded his attention with a familiar buzzing sound. He moved towards his desk and looked at the caller ID, smiling instantly. He turned off the screen before he answered her, not wanting his lie looming in the background.

"Why, Detective Beckett, is this for business or pleasure?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line as if she was trying to decide between the two, _"__Business.__" _ Her voice had that tonal burr of the morning that eased the mild sting of her answer.

"Is it Christmas themed?" He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice.

"_Yes."_

He stood up from his desk and sucked in an excited breath, "Is it another Santa? Murdered and stuffed down a chimney? No! A Grandma got ran over by a vindictive reindeer?"

"_Castle-"_

"No! A hidden Elf fighting club where the only rule is that you don't talk about fight club or Santa's secrets like a secret candy cane cocaine ring?"

"_You__'__re __as__ bad __as __Ryan __and__ Esposito.__" _Her voice was meant to be stern. It was meant to scold him, but he knew her eyes were twinkling. They always did.

"Who do you think taught them?"

He heard what could have been a snort of laugh_,__ "__I__'__ll __send __you __the__ address.__" _ He knew she would end the conversation so he took a chance. He just wanted another taste of it again.

"Kate?" His voice was undemanding, yet searching.

Rick could have sworn he heard a small intake of breath on her at the utterance of her name before she answered.

"_What?" _

The word that had been on the tip of his tongue for weeks tumbled out, low and deep, "Hi."

He imagined her smile then. Beaming, unguarded and joyful.

"_You still don't know how to say goodbye, do you?" _

"A goodbye would never work between us." He couldn't stop his mild longing from swirling around his words.

"_It wouldn't, huh?" _

"Too commonplace. We need something worth waiting for."

"_And 'Hi' is worth that much?"_

"For now." He had a caravan of endearments to call her and scribbled them on corners of pages and margins of what he read or wrote.

She grew quiet. Too quiet. Something was off.

"Is everything-"

"_I__'__ll __see __you__ there.__" _Her tone suggested that she was trying to control of whatever it was.

"With coffee?" He reminded, adding a bit of levity.

"_Yes, __Castle,__ I__ won__'__t __forget__ your...our __coffee.__" _The sultry way she said his name and then 'coffee' made his body tingle. He could already taste the robust flavours of what she would have to offer him.

As he put down his phone he looked at the item on his desk. It had been ready for over a week. He didn't know how she would take it or if he should be the one giving it to her.

His phone started to buzz and he noted the address of the murder. He hoped that one day soon she would phone him for something else. Something that couldn't be labeled under 'work related'. He would take what was given now, though. They were the only things she was throwing to him at the moment and he would catch every last one of them, no matter the size or intent.

"I take it there has been a murder?" He turned and saw his mother standing there in a bright blue silk robe.

"Christmas themed."

"Ah, your favourite. That should cheer you up." She swept into the room in elegance. Her eyes searched the room, probably making sure her son wasn't here all night obsessing over things.

"I haven't been 'Grinching' it up, Mother." He had. A bit. Not enough to cancel the carving of the roast beast and only when he thought no one was looking.

"No, of course not. You always look like Santa put coal in your stocking because a certain Detective declined to spend Christmas with you."

"Esposito said that it wouldn't be fair to Ryan," Rick countered.

Martha gave her son a soft smile at his rebuff before she pointed to the box, that had yet to be wrapped, asking for permission.

He nodded his approval. Martha came around the desk and lifted the gift out of the expertly decorated dark green and gold box. She treated it like the memories that his gift contained might fall away somewhere no one could recover them. A light smile followed as Martha traced her fingers over the pages.

"How many of these did you steal from her apartment?"

"Borrowed."

"Without her permission."

"Jim gave me his permission and I'm giving it back, just encased in leather and set to song."

Martha's finger hovered over the small golden buttons on the various pages, but she didn't press them. Rick knew she couldn't invade someone's memories as readily as he could. Instead, she flipped through the pages again no doubt trying to decipher why he had chosen the order he did.

"Backwards, Darling? Really?"

"I have my reasons."

She raised her eyebrows. "Yes, but are they reasonable?"

He didn't need to answer her because she reached the last page and realization dawned on her face as she read the inscription that he had written just for Kate.

Rick shifted anxiously, waiting for her to say something else. Martha didn't oblige; she just gave a slow nod and placed Kate's gift back in the box.

"Too much?" he asked.

She looked up at her son with that look she often gave him when they talked about Beckett. It wasn't pity or sadness, just a yearning for a child's happiness. "I think it is saying exactly what you want to say."

"But..."

She gave a small dramatic wave of her hand. "But you must consider The Bard."

"It's too early for soliloquies."

She playfully slapped his arm, "'The course of true love never did run smooth.'"

"True, but 'Nothing can come from nothing'."

The older woman turned around and looked at the blank screen he had been looking at earlier. He followed suit as she said, "Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."

"The lady doth protest too much," Castle countered.

"Only the best ones do." Martha gave him a sly look.

His mother had a point. More than one that pierced his skin leaving pin prints of warning. He was searching through Beckett's life without her knowing it and now he wanted to push a little bit and see where he stood. Just to learn his footing. He knew, as time went on, this wicked game of lies would start to play by the rules and search for the light of day.

"You better run along. I know you are dying to get there before Beckett so you can start placing bets on which Santa or reindeer is to blame."

Martha left his side and a few seconds later he was alone again.

He looked down at the present one last time before putting the Christmas box lid on and fastening it with gold ribbon. He resigned to the fact that whatever was to happen would, and maybe that was the point. Something shifted when they had been cuffed together and he didn't want to lose this momentum.

He collected his things and was just about to leave the office when his phone buzzed. Rick read the text from Esposito. It may not have been directly thrown by her, but Rick caught it nonetheless.

Rick smiled impishly as he sent a text back:

"_Deep and rich. Like a lion's purr."_

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><p><strong>AN:** I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter. Reviews, constructive or in kind, would be lovely. As always, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my work.

Cheers,

Rini :D


	2. A Wager of Waiting

Chapter 2

A Wager of Waiting

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><p>"I can't believe the Elf poisoned her candy cane." Ryan slapped a twenty into the writer's hand.<p>

"Never underestimate the power of jealousy, even if they come in small sizes."

"That still doesn't explain how you knew Mrs. Claus ended the affair with the Elf?" Esposito asked, reluctant to hand over his money.

"It was her love of tiny figurines that made me think: fetish and forbidden love." Castle wiggled his fingers towards the brown-eyed detective. "There is something about debauchery set to Christmas music that brings out the warm and fuzzies."

"Here," the detective handed over the money, "Ebenezer."

"I'm not the one who is having difficulty parting with his money."

Castle heard Ryan sigh. "Jenny and I watched that movie last night."

The writer gave a small smile at Ryan's expression. For every story that Ryan shared there was always a softness in his eyes when he said Jenny's name. Castle wondered if his eyes did the same when he talked about a certain female detective.

"Did you watch your favourite version?" Esposito asked.

Intrigued, Castle moved the shopping bags that were around his feet and leaned on Ryan's desk. "It isn't the latest version, is it?" Castle scrunched up his face, "Jim Carrey should really stop doing Christmas films."

"No." Ryan started to shift the papers on his desk. "It's the one with the most heart."

Castle cocked his head to the side and regarded the blue-eyed detective. It couldn't be. "Does it have a certain Mouse in it?"

Ryan stacked his papers up and elevated his chin, "Goofy gives a stirring performance of Jacob Marley."

Castle and Esposito shared a laugh before the latter asked, "So, Castle, what's your favourite Christmas movie?"

"I'm more of a classic man myself."

"_White__ Christmas_? _It__'__s __a __Wonderful__ Life_?" Ryan questioned.

"_A__ Christmas__ Story_."

Esposito nodded his approval, "My Dad got a lamp like that when we were young. It disappeared under the watchful eye of my mother."

"I wanted the 'Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle', but Mother wouldn't let me." He paused briefly before adding, "I should get one now."

"Are you kidding?" Came a familiar voice from behind him, "You'll shoot your eye out, Castle."

He swung around to find Kate standing there holding two coffee cups. It was a gesture that confounded Rick all week. Kate had been dressing in button up tops and jackets. Professional as always. Her hair was pulled back and nothing festive to be seen either. A shame, because if anyone could pull off a knitted Rudolf sweater it would be her.

Everything indicated that she wanted distance. Space. Including lingering shadows underneath her eyes. Everything except an extra undone button or two and tendrils of hair that fell from her bun at the base of her neck. Her eyes stole momentary glances as well. He could feel her, studying him. It was arousing and unnerving at the same time, like she was trying to decode him. The final indication had to be the coffee. She hadn't missed once that week.

Kate held out a coffee towards him, drawing him from his thoughts. He reached out and took the cup from her, gently tracing his fingers along hers as he did.

"As you know, I am an excellent shot."

"Oh, I have no doubt you would hit your eye."

They shared some smiles before Castle took a long sip from his drink. With his best effort, he tried to give her a hard expression and failing because of her sexy smirk.

"So Beckett, what's yours?" She raised her eyebrows, so Javi clarified, "Your fav Christmas movie?"

"I don't have...one."

"You don't expect us to believe that?" Castle said.

"I expect you to be able to find hidden meaning in a sentence."

Castle stopped, replayed the conversation in his mind, then smiled, "Fine, what's _one_ of your favourite Christmas movies."

Kate looked down at the coffee and adjusted her hands, stealing some of its warmth. Then her gaze skipped across the distance to his.

"I love..."

She stopped. Rick felt his eyes go wide as his mind drifted to months ago when she was surrounded by the same colours of the holiday season. Green and red. He had said three words to her, repeated them, meant them. They had fallen away somewhere and for the briefest of moments, as he looked into her eyes, he thought they might have landed on her.

"..._Actually,__" _she finished.

Castle blinked a few times. "What?"

"_Love__ Actually_," she said, "I love-like it...the movie."

"The movie? Right. Good movie. Hugh Grant got his, uh, bumble on."

"Do you two need a moment, alone?" Ryan asked.

"No-Yes," Kate and Rick said at the same time.

"Are you sure? Because it looks like you two want to share some...Christmas cheer."

She glared at the two male detectives in warning that they were to tread as if they were feather-light.

"She only likes spreading her cheer for me." Castle stopped as the words registered under 'things you think and not say around Beckett'. With a cringe he looked up at her. "That sounded differently in my head."

"I bet it did," Beckett quipped before snatching his coffee away and moving towards her desk.

"At least we know you can shoot yourself in your foot," Javi said. Ryan nodded in agreement.

Castle put his hand up to stop their mockery. He reached down and pulled up a bag that had been sitting beside his chair, and hidden amongst other purchases. "I got this."

"Really? You've been trying to give her that gift all week," Esposito said.

"You're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw you yesterday, trying to give Lanie her gift."

"That's...different. She was around sharp and blunt objects, and a corpse."

"Beckett carries a gun."

"At times like these, I'm glad I'm getting married." The two men looked at Ryan. "It's Christmas. Just give them the gifts or I'll shoot you both."

The writer sheepishly nodded and picked up his other bags that he brought from his shopping excursion earlier that day. He made his way to his usual chair beside her desk. He reached for his coffee only to watch her hand move it away from him as she continue doing her paper work.

"I'll admit, though accurate, a poor word choice," he said with a grin.

"And you call yourself a writer." She flipped another file in the 'done' pile and picked up another one to finish.

"Not _a_ writer." He waited a moment before adding, "_Your_ writer."

The detective's pen stilled for a brief second as his words cascaded down around her. She only continued writing after she moved her hand from his coffee. He reached over and brought the drink to his mouth and took a long sip. Her mouth twitched before her eyes drifted to the bags that were on the floor beside her desk.

"Have you finally finished shopping?"

"It is an intricate and precise process. Not to mention dangerous."

"I'm sure you make it that way."

"Me? No, no, no. Little old ladies with mobility scooters."

Kate placed another finished file away. "What? They chase you down for your autograph?"

"I've had a few granny panties thrown my way, but this is different. They will hunt you down if you try to race past them for a good deal."

She shook her head at his audacity.

"I let them win of course. I'm always a gentlemen, as you well know." Kate took a sip of her coffee and then placed her cup next to his.

"Have you finished your shopping?" Rick asked.

Kate shrugged, "We agreed on no presents this year." She gave him a stern look before continuing, "And I already got my Dad something."

Rick resisted the urge to slide the one bag with her present in it underneath his seat. He had been packing it around for the duration of the case, waiting for the right moment to give it to her. There never seemed to be one. He could have showed up at her apartment to give it to her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The gift required privacy. Her reaction might require witnesses, especially him. He had thought about every reaction she might have and wanted to witness one of them.

Castle looked around the precinct. It had died down, since it was late in the evening, and there were only the four of them left in the office area. Castle reached down, slid the other packages under his chair and brought up the package he had been waiting to give her and placed it on her desk.

Swiftly, she brought her bottom lip between her teeth. A gleam of childish whimsy dashed across her eyes and for a moment the image of Kate opening presents beside a Christmas tree seized his mind and then his chest.

"What part of 'no presents' were you unclear about?"

"The 'no' part. Obviously."

"Castle..."

"I promise, they aren't cuffs."

She slung him a look and he caught it, feeling the sizzle.

He reached over and started to fiddle with one of her elephant ornaments. "I won't forget our time together either. It was almost kismet the way you were all over me."

"You mean the way the tiger was almost all over you." She snatched the elephant from him and put it back in line, "If I recall, you complained the entire time. Even when I asked you to undress me."

"Not complain, _express_ that under different circumstances I would have done things differently. Slower." Sparks of deep green surged towards eyes of blue.

"And without the illegal animal smuggling as foreplay," she provided.

"By the end it was almost working for me, except for the almost dying thing." He took another sip of his coffee trying to get the image of Kate almost being attacked by a tiger out of his head.

"That's not why I said 'no' to spending Christmas with you."

He leaned back in his chair and studied her: his beautiful enigma. Rick entertained the idea of cuffing himself to her so he could get to the bottom of what was clearly keeping her up at night.

"Hmmm. Sounds like a mystery that needs solving," he said, gauging her reaction.

With her face as even as she could muster, she added, "No mystery."

"Sleepless nights and I know they couldn't possibly about me," he joked, but stopped when he saw the look she was giving him. Oh. Maybe they were.

"I'm sleeping just fine and I'm spending Christmas with my Dad that's why I said 'no'."

"Bring him. The more the merrier."

"Not this year."

"And the next?"

"You want me to RSVP this early?"

"Yes."

She picked up another file and opened it. "We'll see."

Hope. He let it wash over him.

"I accept. Your Dad is invited as well."

"That wasn't a 'yes'."

"'Yes' enough."

Kate fiddled with her pen before taking what he offered and placed it next to her elephants that paraded on her desk, "I'll open it at Christmas because I haven't...your gift..."

"I already received my gift from you. Don't worry."

She gave him a confused look before a small smile came back to mingle with their banter, "You're right." She reached over to the side of her desk, "Here. Merry Christmas." She stacked her paper work in front of him.

"Monotony. Just what I always wanted." He moved the stack of papers out of the way, "It's too much, especially when you have already given me present after present."

He rewarded her with a smile and surprisingly she gave him one in return. One of bemusement and inquisitive delight.

"You just gave me another one."

She raised her eyebrows in question.

He shrugged, "I've been a very good boy this year and I knew Santa would reward me with your smiles. He said it was inappropriate to ask for _other _things."

Kate leaned on her desk, moving closer to him. "Do you honestly think you can charm me into opening your present now?"

He leaned forward until they were a foot apart. The urge to reach over and place the wayward piece of her hair behind her ear was overwhelming. As was not looking down her shirt. She just had to undo that other button earlier that day.

"Depends. You think I'm charming. That's a start. So prepare yourself." Pointed to his eyes, "These aren't just pretty to look at, they've been known to render women speechless."

She let out a short burst of laughter. The first he had heard all week. "And Grannies panty-less."

"Laugh now, but I just haven't used my super power fully on you yet."

"Because you're a gentleman?"

He nodded. "But when I do...consider your honour in jeopardy."

"Or yours."

He wasn't sure if she had set out down that path, luring him as she did. Maybe she wasn't always conscious of it, but what if she was? What if she guarded every word and dabbled it with her appeal just enough to keep him there? Either way she was some sort of vixen-genius. Tempting too many things all at once.

She wasn't the only one who could do it either. This was a game for two and he was glad he was one of the players.

Castle sat up a little straighter, "Why, Detective Beckett...not in front of the children." He gestured to the two detectives pretending to be finishing their paper work. As Kate brought her coffee cup up to her lips for a drink, he added "Let's save this talk for when I can use my deep and rich morning voice."

She sputtered and coughed a bit. She placed her coffee cup down and leaned to the side to reach for another folder, trying to hide her blush. She gave the two male detectives across the room a death stare. They suddenly found the ceilings and floors fascinating.

"I have to, um, finish these now and unless you are willing to help-"

Kate didn't finish because Castle had placed her present directly in front of her. Rick didn't give her a full blown look that could render her panty-less. Instead, he gave her a look of 'have your way with me if you dare.'

She let out sigh, "You were one of those annoying kids, weren't you? Couldn't wait until Christmas morning to open their presents."

"If by 'annoying', you mean adorable, then yes. I would sneak down and cut the tape with a knife. See what I got and then tape it back up. Until Mother got smart, that is."

"Fake presents?"

"Mother gave the illusion of presents by filling the boxes with rocks. Once, I thought for sure I was getting a pirates chest full of treasure. It drove me nuts to wait until she gave me the real presents Christmas morning. I couldn't sleep because of the anticipation and then when the moment came I was so tired and frustrated I could barely stand it."

He came out of his childish revery and caught an odd expression on his partner's face. Kate's eyes shifted a fraction so their focus was not on him anymore.

"You were the other side of the coin, I take it?" Rick asked trying to discover what it was she was holding back.

"I wanted my Dad and...Mom to be there. All ready, so we could open presents together."

His expression softened. Holding her hand was out of the question. Thinking he was holding her hand as she remembered her mom was going to have to sustain him. "When Alexis came along, it changed. Especially after Meredith left. I got to play Santa and Alexis always liked waiting, or enjoyed making me wait. One of the two."

"It still drives you nuts, though."

He shrugged, "Why wait? When..." he reached over and gave her present a tap, "you can have what you want now?"

That's when he saw it again.

She was being lured off to some other place. Somewhere behind the fractures of fear. There was something else though. It was deeper than their usual sparks. Deeper than a touch could command. It extended to a depth, a dark place, where things crept and hid. It didn't sooth or calm. It didn't cuddle or curl. It hit. It hurt. It struggled. It battered against something that once seemed impenetrable and parts of it was directed at him.

"Kate...I..."

"Thank you for the gift, Castle. I'm sure I'll...love it." She made no move to open it in front of him. He conceded. He wanted to see her reaction and maybe that was selfish on his part. The point was that he gave it to her. Finally.

"You win."

"I usually do." Her tone suggested she wasn't entirely happy about it.

Castle heard a cough from behind them. Ryan and Esposito cautiously walked up to them with their coats on.

"We're heading to the Old Haunt." Ryan gestured to the other two men, "You two want to come along?"

"Castle's buying," Javi said.

Kate straightened out her position until she was sitting perpendicular to her desk, instead of being so close to Castle. "I'm going to keep this paperwork company, but before you go..." She held out her hand towards Castle. "It was the Elf, wasn't it?"

"I knew it," Ryan and Esposito said in unison.

Castle dug into his pocket and slapped the winnings in her hand, taking a few extra seconds to feel the warmth of her skin.

Castle looked up at the two male detectives, "What can I say? She knows her fetishes."

"You better believe it." She took the money and went back to doing her paper work, leaving the three men to contain their expressions at her statement.

Ryan and Esposito said their farewells and moved towards the elevator. Castle lingered briefly; he wanted to savour the last moments of the day with her.

"Until tomorrow."

She looked up at him. "It's not a 'Hi', but I'll take it." Pieces of hair framed her face. Her cheeks rosy from their banter. Her eyes were luring him again. Kate always made it hard to walk away.

With a parting smile, he allowed the sparks to fade as the distance between them grew. Rick made it in time to get on the elevator and to experience the tension that was now confined to a small space.

"You never said that Beckett couldn't be on my team."

"You never said that she was in on it," Javi countered.

"If we knew Beckett was on your side we wouldn't have bet you," Ryan said as they reached the lobby. "She has her Detective-Jedi-Master-Solver in full swing this time of year. All year."

They made it just outside the precinct when Castle stopped and looked down at his empty hands and remembered how he shoved his purchases underneath his chair.

"Hey, you two go on ahead. I gotta go get my bags."

The two men turned around. Grins in place. "Left them there on purpose. Smooth," Esposito said.

"Not like that."

"Sure, whatever you say," Ryan said as he turned with Javi and continued down the street towards their car.

Castle raced back through the lobby and rode the elevator back up. As the doors finally opened, he was flooded with the faint crooning of someone singing "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

The someone wasn't Kate.

It was Johanna Beckett.

* * *

><p>Thank you to those who reviewed, alerted and read my story so far.<p>

If these two chapters have made you frown, angry, smile and/or laugh, do let me know. I know all of you lead busy lives, but any feedback is appreciated. As always, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my work.

Cheers,

Rini :D


	3. A Few Steps Back

Dedicated to **NoOrdinaryLines**. Without her support I would have deleted this story days ago. You have my sincerest thanks.

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

A Few Steps Back

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><p>She lasted about a minute.<p>

Pathetic, for her. Unfair to him since he just left the precinct with Ryan and Esposito.

Her will power was completely shot. His blue eyes, incessant charm and their banter made sure of it. She meant what she said. His honour would be in danger.

She wanted to _do_ things to him.

All _sorts_ of things.

Things with cuffs and ice cubes. Things with hot baths and deep morning kisses. At least she could admit that much.

It didn't change anything though.

Want versus need.

She wanted to fall and dive right in with him. She wanted to be the person who could let her guard down. However, she needed to take down her mother's murder board, let go, and tell him the truth that she remembered everything when she was shot.

For now, though, she wanted to open her gift. She stood, barely acknowledge the sprig of youthful enthusiasm from within her chest, reached for the present, and pulled the green and red tissue paper out from the bag before she placed in front of her.

The thought of opening it up in front of him proved to much for two reasons. The first, Kate had seen him hide it from her all week. She hoped he would come to his senses and not give her a present. To be honest, she got him one too, but everything she got him didn't seem like enough. Then there was the issue of what it would lead him to think. That she was ready? A small part of her was, but not enough to fill their seemingly great divide with rubble.

The second, knowing him like she did, this present was no doubt the result of another 'Indiana Jones' expedition into her past and instead of reaching back for his hat, he reached for her memories. For her.

What would it be this time?

She lifted the bag and gauged the weight. A book? His latest? No, he was still writing it. If it was another book then why was he so apprehensive to give it to her then? And why was he so adamant to see her open in front of him? Unless...it was like all his other expeditions.

Kate pulled the decorative box from the bag. It was dark green and had golden swirls on it. It was tied with a simple golden ribbon.

Not his usual flare. This was subtle. Intimate.

A course thread of fear stitched its way down her back. It drug along her skin in warning, pulling in all the wrong ways and only a few right ones.

Kate untied the ribbon and with the tips of her fingers she lifted up the lid and removed the silver tissue paper. Golden-stitched words on a dark leather cover came into view.

A profusion of emotions stormed up. Crashed. Thundered in her chest like a battering ram. All trying to get through at once as she traced her index finger over the cursive font:

"_Let's take a few steps back, Katie. There's no rush. Then, when you are ready, I'll let go."_

_Johanna Beckett._

The memory seeped from beneath the words before her.

She was five. They were at the cabin for the summer. Her father had taken off her training wheels of her red bike. Kate remembered being so sure she was ready only to fall every time. As Jim and Johanna walked back to the cabin with her, after all her failed attempts, Kate's mother said those exact words to her. It was three days later when Kate finally told her mother to let go and Kate rode her red two-wheel bike all the way down the road, looking behind to make sure her mother and father were there.

Her fingers trembled as she dared to open the cover. Kate expected to see an inscription or pictures from the day of her birth. I lieu of that expectation were images of Johanna's last captured moments. The Beckett family's last Christmas holiday together thirteen years ago. The last images of Johanna Beckett, Jim and Kate at the cabin and when Kate and her mother skated at Rockefeller Center. Kate remembered Rick looking at them about a year ago after Raglan had been shot.

Her gaze dashed and dove into the pictures as she traced her fingers down the page. She reached the bottom, keen on turning the page, when she felt something small and round beneath her finger. She pressed it.

It was a recording. Scratchy, unclear until...

"_Have yourself a Merry little Christmas, _

_Let your heart be light. _

_From__ now __on __all __our __troubles __will __be__ out __of__ sight_..."

Something finally escaped from Kate's mouth. A gasp? A sob? She wasn't sure. Her hand found it's way up to smother it so her mother's voice would not be disturbed.

Kate placed her other hand on the desk for support and she loomed over the present some more while a warm song of yesteryear nurtured her. A deep and imperfect tenor that had lulled her to sleep so many Christmas eve's. Their tradition. When she was young her mother recorded it and other songs on a cassette that Kate would play when Johanna had to be away for work or was late tucking her in. Kate had thought it lost, destroyed years ago.

Kate felt a tear escape. Then another. Never had she dreamed of hearing her mother sing to her again. She never would have dreamed of ever finding the man who stabbed her either. It was because of him, Rick Castle.

How did he know? Why did he have to do this now? She was so close to letting go, wasn't she? Why did he always dig? Was he that desperate to find a way in?

Or... was he already in?

"_Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."_

Years of digging meant he had bypassed it all. He built a tunnel, a secret passage way, and came out the other side when she wasn't looking, or when she didn't want to look. Kate felt anger rise only to have it battle with the memories he had just given her.

Therapy was supposed to help the process. Yes, it had been easier to talk about her mother in front of others, but she chose what to say. Now everything seemed harder and she couldn't choose what was remembered and when to grieve. Why did she think this would be easy like ripping a Band-aid off? It was more akin to perform surgery on oneself without anything to ease the pain. She was supposed to dig down and find the things she had hidden and here Rick had done it for her yet again.

Her mother's voice faded and the buzzing sound of the lights over head was prominent again. Another sob escaped that couldn't be smothered.

It wasn't until she saw drops of liquid splatter against the cream coloured pages and images of her mother did she start to pull back to reality.

She closed the book and covered the leather exterior of the album so the inscription was no longer seen. She couldn't look any more. Not now. She couldn't look back when she didn't know how to move forward.

Kate stood up straight and urged her lip to stop quivering. With her head tilted, back, she looked at the ceiling, giving her eyes a fighting chance against the tears that were still falling. She roughly wiped them away.

A few cleansing breaths later, she wrapped the gift back in the bag. Home. That's what she needed. As she turned to grab her coat, her hand instinctively went to her gun as a figure caught her eye. Recognition allowed for a small gasp.

"Castle, hey..." She moved to stand in front of her desk more. "What...what are you doing here?"

And how long had he been standing there?

The writer gave her a quick smile from his position at the end of the isle before pointing to his chair. Kate looked and saw his other presents nestled underneath. She kept her head to the side and wiped her cheeks again just to make sure there was no evidence of tears left.

Kate turned back to him and searched his face as he moved towards her. His expression was relaxed, even. Too even. He was a damn good poker player.

"Finished your paperwork already?" He stood at arms length from her and she was certain that if he held his arms out she would collapse into him because he was there. He was always there for her.

"I'm calling it a night. Tired." Her voice broke a bit and she felt a rush of emotion surge forth.

"Allow me?" Her coat was being lifted from her before she could say 'no'.

Rick held it open. She put her arm in and followed suite with the other. He had stepped in close. The heavy fabric of her coat landed on her shoulders. His hands lingered and then ran down her arms. It was almost as if he was trying to steady her.

Kate's eyes jetted to the present all wrapped up again on her desk and her hand instinctively went to her chest. Her fingers felt the soft texture of her shirt as she pressed to feel her scar. Then she searched for it. Her mother's ring.

She needed the weight of the chain to remind her of a life lost. Why did she think she was ready to stop wearing it?

Kate's line of vision changed from his gift and glided around until she was staring at his chest. Castle had turned her around without her knowledge. His one hand now on her forearm and the other on her elbow.

With one hand still on her chest she reached out until she had the front of his lapel in her hand. She rubbed the woolen fabric between her fingers before placing her hand on his chest. Kate ordered herself to push him away. Punish him for digging into her life again. Instead, she tried to grip his coat to bring him in closer.

Rick's hand moved over hers, and brought her other hand from her chest down between them. She looked at his mouth. Bottom lip full enough to taste. Then she dared to look into his eyes.

Anger. Fear. Grief. Longing and lies. Whatever was in her eyes she couldn't control it and it was being reflected back at her as a procession across his. Each march was something different and not to any tune yet. It was off, perfect, wrong, immediate.

Soon she felt his hands squeeze hers. A light pressure that was accompanied by the gentle stroking of his thumb on her skin. Back and forth and slow comforting circles. She felt the emotion at the back of her throat subside. His touch soothed her like drinking a hot brandy after braving a winter storm.

The distance between them, which at times seem so great and unnavigable, was closing. Then she felt his breath brush her face while his scent, a hint of pine and faint dabbles of holiday cinnamon and nutmeg, ambled between them, lulling her.

Kate closed her eyes and let out a ragged breath, "Rick...I..."

There were so many things she wanted. Some possible: him. Some beyond the land of the living: her mother. In that moment though, he gave her what she needed.

With a final squeeze of her hand, he let go.

"We, uh, better get going. Ryan and Esposito might send out a hunting party after me if I don't buy them a few rounds." He backed farther away and reached for his bags from underneath his chair.

"Right. Of Course." She did up her coat and grabbed her gift, clutching it against her chest as she made her way past him and to the elevator. They stood by the doors in silence until it opened.

He gestured grandly with his arm, "After you." His tone was light, and she was grateful.

Kate got on and he followed. "Thank you," she said to his gesture, but meant it for the gift she was holding.

Castle gave her a smile of 'you're welcome' but something told her it was more of and 'I'm sorry'. "I don't mind if you lead sometimes, Kate."

"Are you sure?" She couldn't quite look at him, knowing that he probably had been standing there watching her opening her present for quite some time.

"I am. Even when you aren't sure of the destination yet."

As the door closed she resisted the urge to reach over and take his hand into hers.

* * *

><p>It was four days until Christmas and one day since she left with Castle from the precinct. He told her last night that he was going to be busy decorating his place and might not come in. It was an excuse to give her space or to give himself some. It was both welcomed and despised on her part. She spent the day doing paperwork and glancing at his chair.<p>

Now, Kate leaned against her desk, in her apartment, and stared at both the album she was given and the murder board it sat under. She clutched at her mother's ring that had found it's familiar home since she arrived home from work.

The wind had been knocked out of her and damn it all if she didn't want Rick to breath it back into her. Kate would have given in. Right in that precinct too. She cursed herself for not doing it and cursed herself for letting it get that far.

Mostly, she cursed at a broken life being put back together too slowly that moments with Rick were sold for slaughter. How many more lost moments could they afford?

Kate let out a frustrated sigh before she thought of his present again. She spent the previous night curled up in her bed, scouring through it and then falling asleep to her mother's voice. Castle had added little stories to each picture. His words mingled with her past, adding mood, atmosphere, heart and humour. It conjured up memories that had been banished, or buried to a nether place she dared not explore.

She had played each song over to the point that as her mother's voice hit the air the image of Johanna, laughing, smiling and holding on to Kate's hand as they skated together on their last Christmas together, became a fixture in the dark space. Kate even laughed when she heard some of the crazy songs that Johanna made up. It was a new experience going back and looking at her mother through adult eyes. A more real portrayal of Johanna was discovered rather than a childhood idolization. Her mother wasn't perfect and that was a trait Kate inherited.

Then, of course, there was the final page of the album. After all the stories, little sayings written in the margins, pictures, and all the songs, there was an inscription that Rick had written for her:

_For a life lost._

_For a life not forgotten._

_For a life worth living._

_Always._

The fact it was at the end of the book brought an odd smile to her lips. Backwards. By normal standards the album was organized in the wrong order. By her standards and by his it made perfect sense.

Kate was brought out of her thoughts with the sound of her phone. Simultaneously, she hoped it was and wasn't him. She looked at the caller ID. Relief and disappointment followed as she answered.

"Hey, Dad."

"_Hello, Katie. I just thought I would check in and settle our Christmas plans."_

She gave a glance at the album, "Just the two of us."

"_You know, it was mentioned to me that Rick wanted us to come to his place for Christmas."_

Kate paused and wondered how long Castle had been conspiring with her father. "When was this exactly?" She was too exhausted to muster the annoyance out of her voice.

"_I__ see.__" _ He must have heard more of the tone than she intended, _"__He__ gave __it__ to__ you__ then.__"_

"Did he ask you to check up on me?"

"_No.__He __didn__'__t.__" _ There was evasiveness in his voice. _"__Are__ you__ all__ right?__"_

"I'm fine."

"_Katie...__"_ Fatherly concern blanketed her.

"You should have told me. Given it to me instead of him."

There was silence on the other end of the phone before she heard a sigh, _"__He __approached __me __over__ a __month__ a go __with __this __idea __to __capture __Johanna __in __such__ a__way __that__ you __and__ any__ future __generations,__" _he said the last part tentatively before adding_,__ "__would __have __something __to__ remember__ her __by.__"_

They were both silent for a moment before he continued, _"__I__ was __cleaning__ the __crawlspace __at __the__ cabin__ and__ found __more __pictures, __the__ songs __and __home __movies-__"_

"Which movies?"

"_I guess my gift to you isn't going to be a surprise. Rick had them...I don't know, but they are on DVD's now and I thought we could watch them together."_

"I, uh..." She tried to hide the emotion in her voice, but it was useless. Her Dad and now Rick were attuned to her ways.

"_Or when you are ready to watch them. Did you read all the stories he added? I only read a few. He's a damn good writer."_

"I know."

"_Of __course __you __do.__You __have __a__ whole __bookshelf __full__ of__ his __books.__" _ It was subtle reminder, intended to get her back to fighting order. _"__He__ wanted__ it __to__ be__ a__ surprise.__ You __deserve __good __surprises __in__ your __life.__"_

"I forgot what her voice sounded like," Kate said, as she started to flip through the album instead of staring at the murder board.

"_I__ found__ the__ cassettes__ when __I__ was __looking __for__ the__ pictures. __I __couldn't__ believe __it. __She __thought __we __lost __them__ traveling __all __those__ years __ago.__" _A soft laugh escaped before he added,_ "__She __loved __singing __to __you __and__ I __used __to __stand __outside __your __door __and__ hear __you __play __them__ so__ you __could __fall __asleep. __Never __had __a__ night __light, __but __you __had __those __songs.__"_

"I remember." A warm sensation extended over her body as the image of Johanna, smiling and kissing Kate on the forehead in 'goodnight' lingered longer than was ever allowed.

"_Katie?"_

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"_If you wanted to spend Christmas with-"_

"Just the two of us, Dad. The cabin as usual. It will be fine."

"_If you're sure."_

She wasn't.

"_I am."_

There was a long pause as Kate ran her fingers over the Golden letters written on the cover of the album. Her Dad's low voice provided the voice over.

"_This is your battle Katie and I can't fight it for you, just like you couldn't fight my battle with the bottle. But it doesn't mean you have to do it alone."_

"I know. I'll see you at Christmas. Good night, Dad," she said as tenderly as she could without drudging up the past any further.

"_Goodnight, Sweetheart."_

She held the phone in her hand after she hung up. Kate opened to the first page of the album and stared at the pictures of her mother, at her last Christmas. Kate ran her finger beside her mother's image and then she moved to her own. The image of a younger self, smiling, laughing, living. She flipped the final page and read his inscription again.

She readied her phone and dialed a number. She waited a few rings until she heard him answer.

She waited a moment before saying, "I need to see you."

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><p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews would be wonderful and are always welcomed. To all my readers, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read, review, 'favourite' and alert my work. I believe kindness such as that is always rewarded over time.<p>

Cheers,

Rini :D


	4. A Matter of Distance

Chapter 4

A Matter of Distance.

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><p>"I tell him no presents and he gives me one anyway and not just any present. Not a pair of socks or gift certificates. He has to give me something..." Heartfelt. Personal. Intimate.<p>

The detective paced back and forth behind the leather couch. It was two days before Christmas and she was surprised she was able to see him at all.

"And you didn't get him anything in return?"

"No. I did. I just can't give it to him."

"Why not?"

It was a few more paces before she looked at him. His eyes were dark and soft, not blue and filled with wanting and expectations.

"You know why."

"I know that he cares for you and you care for him."

Kate stopped, walked around the couch and finally sat down across from her therapist. She pulled one knee up towards her chest and sank deeper into cushions.

"I want..._need_ to take the my mother's murder board down or I'm right back where I started."

"Wants and needs don't often coincide, especially when grief is involved. You will take it down when you are ready. This isn't a set back," he said.

She fiddled with the ring around her neck, rolling it around and then running her finger up and down the chain. "What would you call it then?"

"A different route to the same destination."

Kate let the ring fall back against her chest. She reached over and ran her finger down the wooden, seamless figurine on the table beside the leather couch. She felt out of control. Damaged. Each day she didn't know how she would feel or should feel.

"Does the gift have something to do with your mother?"

Castle's gifts usually did. "He got me an album filled with pictures and stories of my mother. He and my Dad managed to find old songs she used to sing as well."

"Why do you think he gave you that gift?"

"Because he..." She gestured with her hand. Kate couldn't quite say the words yet.

"I'm sure his feelings for you were the main source of motivation, but there are many other gifts that would have said the same thing. What was different about this?"

Kate studied the grain in the wood of the figurine. All going in one direction and sanded down to perfection. "He wants me to remember my mother and not think of murder. He wants me to be that girl in those photos. Carefree and..." She bowed her head.

"Happy?"

Kate shifted and allowed her leg to join the other in the normal sitting position. She met his gaze. Dr. Burke was patient, yet demanding in her answers. She never felt pressured to give up anything she wasn't ready to give.

"He told me once that I was afraid to be happy."

"Are you?"

She was afraid of many things it seemed. Things that she couldn't stare down and conquer right away and other things that seemed to bombard her every day, demanding resolutions. "Happiness has been linked to solving her murder; I thought only then I could move on and feel all forms of happiness again."

"And now?"

She couldn't stop the smile from tugging at her mouth, "I'm noticing more opportunities to be happy. I just can't seem to reach out and grab them as much as I want to."

Dr. Burke nodded. She saw the look in his eyes and knew he was going there. They had talked about Castle before but she managed to skirt around the significant parts. As her stomach churned and ground her nerves she gave him a slight nod of approval, so Dr. Burke continued.

"You told me that he was the one who reopened your mother's case all those years ago."

"Castle...he does that. He digs in my life and just when I think I can catch a breath, he decides to dig some a little more."

"Do you resent him for it?"

She shook her head and then shrugged her shoulders. "When he first reopened my mother's case he went behind my back. I was furious at him, because I thought I had let it go and moved on."

"Had you?"

She shook her head. Her first round with therapy had helped. She could live her life. Function. However, her mother's murder was always at the back of her mind. Parts of it would crop up during an investigation or anytime she would talk to the victim's family.

"I buried it. Covered it up with work. He unearthed all of it. My insecurities. My memories. My obsession."

"So you _wanted_ him to stay in your life?"

It was hard to remember a time when he wasn't positioned at the side of her desk, or at her side as they brought down criminals. Castle was her partner and she was certain that she was to walk through the rest of her life with him by her side. "It was my choice and I asked him to be there. Without him I would have never found Coonan. He was there with me. Then Montgomery died."

"Then what happened?"

"Castle asked me to walk away and I kicked him out. That didn't stop him. He came back and..." Kate remembered how Castle packed her out of the hangar, away from Roy. She remembered the feel of his hand over her mouth and him stroking her hair telling her how sorry he was and how he wouldn't let anything happen to her. "Even after I was..." She instinctively reached up to her chest for her scar and found her mother's ring. "Even after I was shot and I pushed everyone away. I hurt them. Some more than others."

"Is that why you didn't contact anyone during your recovery?"

She nodded and turned her head so the small wooden figurine was in her line of vision again. The edges were smooth and formed a solitary person. A whole person. "I could handle being shot, and I could handle Roy's death, but I couldn't handle what I had put them through and to have them see me like that. I only let my father take care of me because I had seen him at his lowest point once and I knew he would understand what that was like."

Kate thought of Castle and how he had tackled her to the ground. She remembered Lanie's voice telling her not to give up. They were there trying to clean up her mess. The mess she made of her life.

"My shooter is still out there and I can only assume that since I have no leads and I'm not investigating my mother's case they have left me alone, but what if I can't let it go? What if I can't..." She trailed off.

"Let them in?" Dr. Burke asked, "Let them see all of you and not just the 'you' you want them to see?"

"It's the distance that keeps them safe."

"Or is it the distance that keeps you safe?"

A few weeks ago, she had reached another low point. When she was struggling her PTSD. She still had moments of it, but it was Javi and Castle who had helped her through that, along with her therapist. She realized then that she couldn't do this alone, but she had been alone for so long that she almost had forgotten what it was like to truly rely on someone. Along the way, over the last four years, she had relied on Castle and during that time it morphed from being seen as a weakness to something else. A strength.

"You asked me once if I was afraid that Castle won't wait or that he will?"

"I remember."

"It's both. One more than the other. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't wait and if he was happy then at least I could go on knowing that."

"And if he did wait?"

"Then I would have to face what I did to him. Am still doing to him."

Her lie. It might have bought her time, distance, but she knew it had the potential to bring hurt and heartache and not just to her.

"Is that why you can't tell him that you remembered and how you feel?"

"I lied to keep them away when all I wanted was to have them close. To have him close. But a part of me can't put them in the line of fire again. What if he had gotten to me sooner and the bullet pierced his heart? How could I possible explain that to his daughter? His mother? But I can't let him go either. I can't tell him yet and I know that if I don't tell him soon anything we might have will be ruined."

"Has he given you any indication that he isn't willing to wait?"

"If anything he does things that tell me he is waiting until I'm ready."

"Then what are you really afraid of?"

She pushed the small figurine with her finger and watched it move along the smooth surface of the side table, doing her bidding. "That I'm controlling the pretense under which he waits."

"He waits because he cares for you and you don't know that he would leave if you told him the truth."

"I just can't...It's not fair to him."

Kate put the figurine back to its original position. "What wouldn't be fair?"

"If I just let him in completely, and gave in." Kate whispered. "I would end up destroying what we have or could have because not a day goes by when I don't think about my mom and her case. What if I'm not enough. I need to be at a place where I can...I can love him and not worry that I will destroy it a second later."

Dr. Burke fell silent which gave her a few moments to let what she had just said fall between them. It may not have been said to Castle, but it was said aloud. She loved him. Fact. Now everything else needed to happen.

"You can't control what his reaction will be. The only thing you can control is your reaction and getting to a place where you will be ready to tell him and to move on."

"It might take too long."

"It's not the speed at which you cover the distance; it's the meaning behind each step you take."

Kate leaned forward and rested her arms on her legs. She wrung her hands together a few times, letting his words sink in. "You make it sound so easy."

Dr. Burke leaned forward and waited until she finally looked at him. "Not easy. Worthwhile"

Kate thought of the album. She thought about the last Christmas with her mother. How they skated at Rockefeller center. How Johanna would grab on to Kate's hand and steer her away from rowdy skaters. How Johanna would always get extra whipping cream on her hot chocolate only to have it find a home on the tip of her nose. Castle gave her a gift saying that a moment wasn't all that Johanna was. She had a life and now it was Kate's turn.

"If I can't start with her murder board, then where do I start?"

"Sometimes letting go is about letting people in and remembering that life is made of more than one moment that can define you."

Kate nodded and stood. She collected her coat and then faced her therapist for the final time for the evening, "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

"Enjoy your Holiday for what you want it to be and remember that happiness can define you just as much as sadness."

She gave him a smile before leaving the office with a different sort of meaning behind each step.

* * *

><p>Christmas was a success.<p>

Gifts were exchanged, copious quantities of good food was eaten and even a day after the big event, Rick was trying to let go of his winter wonderland. It wasn't in the same glory as it was when he had set up all the presents as tunnels. Now he was using the boxes that Alexis had brought out to encourage him to start taking down some of his Christmas cheer.

"Don't you ever get tired of watching it go round and round?" Martha asked from the couch where she was reading her magazine and trying to casually check her phone.

"Choo-choo," he said as the train made another lap underneath the tree. He looked up and saw her knowing blue eyes peer at him from the top of the magazine.

"Did Beckett have a nice Christmas?"

"She spent it at her Dad's cabin. Now she is back at work for the week."

"No murders I take it?"

"Mostly paperwork."

"We both know how much you like that."

His model train made a few more loops before he felt his mother's knowing gaze. He really wasn't going to get out of this conversation.

"She opened it before Christmas."

"That explains the trains and why you are avoiding her."

"I'm not avoiding her. I decided to give her a second gift: space."

It wasn't the easiest gift to give either. Last week, when he had given her the album, her reaction wasn't what he expected, and yet it was what he needed to see. She wasn't ready. It was there, the passion and if he was bold enough he would say he saw something deeper directed towards him in her eyes. He also saw anger, fear and a host of other things directed at him and at herself. Castle didn't want their first official kiss to be under those circumstances.

Castle looked up. Martha had flipped the magazine down into her lap and was giving him a smile.

"What?"

"Can't a mother smile at her son being so mature?"

Rick pointed to the trains.

"Occasional maturity is worth celebrating," she countered.

The writer turned off the train set and stood. He moved to the chair next to the couch and slumping down in it.

"She's going through something and I don't know what to do. How to fix it."

"Since you met her, you've wanted to ride in and save the day and most of the time she wasn't waving her handkerchief at you to do so."

No kidding. Beckett had her own horse, her own armor, her own sword. Sometimes though, he got to save the day.

"What if I can't solve her mother's case?"

"What if you do?"

"Then we can..."

"Be together?"

"That's one possibility," he said, trying to not sound like that was all he wanted.

"Scouring over her mother's case is your choice and if you did solve it then you would have to tell her what you have been keeping from her. There is more to this, more between you two, than just this case."

Rick nodded and looked over at his train set. "I just want her to be happy."

Martha reached over until she could reach out and give his hand a squeeze, "You can't be responsible for that. Maybe a part of it. Someday."

"Someday," he said with longing. "Until then, at least you have stopped trying to set me up on dates."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I know what I interrupted in that bank when we were held captive."

"Yes, thank you for that." He waited a moment, then followed his train of thought. "Speaking of the bank, do all those secret calls you've been taking have anything to do with a certain bank manager? A Mr. Davenport?"

Martha gave him a quick smile, "Yes, I'm spending New Years with him." She got up and made her way into the kitchen, placing her phone on the counter when she got there. Rick followed, determined to discover why she was being so evasive.

"That's great, unless there is something else. Someone else maybe?"

Martha got herself a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. "Believe me, one is enough. Now, what are your plans for New Years? I know you have had more than one invitation come your way."

Before he could answer they heard keys jingling at the door. Soon Alexis bustled in with bags in her hands.

"I think I hear the sound of my credit cards weeping," he said to his mother.

"Retail therapy," Martha whispered before addressing Alexis, "successful shopping trip?"

"It was fine," Alexis said as she put down her bags and took off her coat. She made her way into the kitchen, but not before she looked over at the living room, "Really?" she said to her father, "More tunnels?"

"My tunnels are architectural marvels of the Christmas world."

"Procrastinating on writing again?"

"O ye of little faith, I have already finished three chapters."

Alexis looked at her father, studied him for a moment. He knew that look, and knew his daughter was more astute than he was most of the time.

Alexis then looked at Martha for confirmation. "It's true. He was plunking away all morning and-" Martha's phone rang and before she could snatch it off the counter Rick saw the name 'Owl' as the caller ID.

Martha left the room and he turned to his daughter.

"Owl?"

Alexis shrugged. "Bank manager?"

"Maybe. I know she is spending New Year's with him."

Alexis bumped into his side, "And what about you?"

"Me? I am always ready to watch the ball drop with you, unless you have changed your mind."

"That's not the reason I'm not going."

"You could throw another secret party here if you wanted. I can make other plans."

"I don't know what you are talking about," Alexis said, hedging around the known truth.

He put his arm around his daughter, "I'm brimming with pride, truly. You are far better at cleaning up than I ever was. But you should go, even if he will be there."

"Who will be where?" Martha asked as she came back into the room.

Rick was shaking his head, but Alexis straightened her shoulders and answered, "Ashley is back and I haven't decided if I am going to the New Years party or not."

Martha gave her granddaughter a sympathetic look. "Break ups are always the hardest around the holidays."

"It has been over a month and I'm the one that broke up with him. I'm fine."

"Well, since you are _fine_, I was wondering if the two of you wanted to do something tomorrow night?"

"Is this a not so subtle way of getting the apartment to yourself?" Rick asked.

"Not at all. I thought before our Christmas break is over we could go skating."

"Skating?" Alexis and Rick said in unison.

"At Rockefeller Center. Tomorrow night?"

"Grams, the last time we skated didn't go so well. Someone ended up with a mild concussion." Alexis looked at her Dad.

It was Rick's turn to straighten his shoulders. "If you recall, I had no problem staying on my feet until _he_ showed up."

"You still believe he stuck out his skating aid on purpose to trip you?" Alexis asked.

"You were too young to remember."

"I was twelve."

"Still. He did it on purpose."

"Really, Richard, he was six years old, not an evil mastermind."

"You didn't see the look in his eye."

Martha and Alexis shared a chuckle before the latter said, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to a show with Juliette's family tomorrow night and it ends late."

Martha looked off in thought for a moment. "Late works. Say around 11pm? We have to make these moments count. Next year Alexis will be off at school."

"Thanks for reminding me, Mother."

Alexis smiled. "I'll meet the two of you there."

"All right, I'm in." Castle said.

"It will be late so you won't have to deal with nefarious six year old," Martha said.

"Too bad. It isn't Christmas without a bit of revenge. Mwhuhahahahaha!"

"He's been watching Die Hard again, hasn't he?" Alexis asked.

"Among other things." Martha smiled as she took a sip of her wine.

* * *

><p>"Katherine Beckett if my ass meets the ice one more time, I'm going to <em>hurt<em> you."

"I didn't think you'd be this bad."

Kate lifted her friend back up on her skates. Lanie grabbed onto Kate's arms for support and they started to skate around the Rockefeller rink again.

It was two days after Christmas and Kate felt relaxed. More so than before. She spent the weekend at the cabin and she and her Dad watched the home movies on DVD and even went through the album with her Dad. It wasn't exciting, but it was comforting and gave Kate a little extra push that she needed.

Kate looked over at her friend. Both of them were bundled up, scarves around their necks and leather gloves on their hands. They fit right in with all the other people around them on the rink.

She forgot how much she loved this place. The flags waving their greetings, the lights twinkling along with all the smiling faces, and the holiday music streaming all around them. The bursts of laughter, chatter and the sounds of blades marking the ice swirled all around as Kate tried not to laugh at her friend's inability to stay on her feet.

"'Drinking,' I said, 'let's go out _drinking_ and _dancing_.' Not anywhere in our conversation last night did I mention wanting to go skating after our late work day."

"We are going out. After this."

"If I can walk."

They glided a few more steps as a few people skated past them. Kate smiled as she felt Lanie squeeze her arm.

"I'm just going to say it. Isn't this more of a Castle thing? Just picture it. The two of you finishing each others sentences while holding hands, gliding around the rink underneath all these lights."

Kate had mentioned to her father that she was going to do this, try and make new holiday memories, bridging the gap with the old ones. Her Dad has suggested Rick, and to be honest her mind had drifted to him first; however, she needed something else. She needed a friend who would understand things from her perspective a bit more and she owed Lanie something that was a long time coming.

"What is going on between you two?" Lanie asked.

"Nothing." Was the easiest answer Kate could think of.

"Nothing? You two were cuffed. Cu-uffed together and nothing came out of it. How many more years do you two think you can defy the laws of sexual physics before something or someone combusts?"

"We weren't exactly alone when we were cuffed."

"Now we're getting somewhere. So, Detective Beckett, if you weren't being held captive, what would you have done to our writer friend?"

Kate bit her lip before adding, "I'll answer that if you are willing to talk about what's going on between you and Esposito."

"So that's how you want to play it?"

"It is."

"Ok. Fine. Javi wanted more. There. Happy?"

"And you don't?"

"I don't know," Lanie answered. "I thought we were just having fun one minute and then we go out to dinner with Ryan and Jenny with all this marriage talk. It made my head spin."

"Is that why you two broke up?"

"A part of it. I didn't say I didn't want to get married, just not now. He wasn't even proposing, he was annoyed because I wouldn't give him an answer to his hypotheticals. He interpreted that as not ever. Idiot."

"You two want the same thing, then?"

"No-no. You first."

Kate waited until a few more people passed them on the ice, before she leaned down and whispered. "I would have done things to him."

"Naughty things?" Lanie whispered back.

"Yes."

"That's my girl!" Lanie beamed and tried to jump up in excitement, almost falling in the process.

"Don't even think of bringing me down with you," Kate said once she had steadied her friend.

"That's the least of your worries. Now, did Castle ever get around to giving you that present he had been packing around?"

"Sorry. It's your turn. I take it Javi gave you his gift?" Kate looked at the new diamond necklace around Lanie's neck.

"He showed up at the end up my shift last week and placed it on the dead body that was between us."

"And you say romance is dead," Kate said looking at the jewelry that was around her friends neck.

"He's trying to get back into my good graces."

"Is it working?"

They glided a few more strides before the M.E. answered, "We might have agreed to possibly meet at a New Years party."

Kate suppressed her laugh and looked out among all the smiling faces.

"What about you? You couldn't snag Castle underneath the mistletoe, but what about a countdown kiss?"

"I'm heading back out to the cabin on Friday. I won't be here to ring in the New Year."

"To spend time with your Dad?"

"He'll be there during the day. Then he is a designated driver so he will be out making sure his friends make it home all right."

"So...you have the cabin all to yourself?" Lanie said suggestively.

"Castle has probably made plans."

"I guess that would depend on what he got you for Christmas. No more stalling. Tell me it was something sexy-inappropriate, or just really intimate."

The glided around the curved end of the rink. Kate crossed over her feet to do so and felt the small bumps from the ice beneath the blades. Lanie wasn't really skating. Kate was pulling her most of the way feeling the cool night air wash over her face. "It was photo album of my mom."

Lanie jerked to a stop. Kate didn't allow for it though. She was moving forward and pulled her friend along. It was a few more moments before she heard Lanie say, "Oh, Kate." Lanie squeezed Kate's arm some more, "He is such a sweet idiot."

"It was a very...Castle thing to do."

They finished another half a lap and years of friendship fell between them. "It's coming up, isn't it?" Lanie asked.

"January 9th."

"Not the best time to be attending a wedding."

Kate shook her head. "I don't know, I think that date can belong to someone else as well."

The laughter and voices of everyone else on the rink glided along with them. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You doing this with me is enough."

"Glad my falling is helping you out."

Kate took a deep breath before elaborating, "My mom and I came here and skated together on the Christmas before she died." Lanie's eyes grew a deep, warm, brown, clearly touched that her friend had thought of her. "I haven't wanted to do it since."

"Then I will skate with you as long as you need, even if you have to pack me around the rink after my legs give out."

Kate smiled, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"No," Kate drew her friend to a halt and turned her until they were facing each other, "Thank you for what you did for me. You saved my life."

"Kate, you don't-"

"Yes, I do."

Lanie looked at her friend, searching. Then her eyes grew wide at the truth that was just revealed. Kate did remember that day and she remembered what Lanie had done for her.

"I remember hearing your voice."

Lanie started to blink rapidly and averted her gaze, "None of us would have been the same, you know. We kinda like having you around."

"Kinda?"

"When you aren't forcing people to skate, yes." Lanie brought Kate down for a hug. It was a few moments and Lanie still hadn't let go, but her grip had tightened.

"Um, Lanie?"

"I can't let go."

"It's OK, really. I will be fine-"

"No really. I can't let go or I'll fall."

Kate let out a soft chuckle and steadied her friend on her feet. Lanie quickly looked away and gave a few sniffles before looking back at her friend.

"Aren't we a pair? You get that gift from your sexy writer; Javi gives me a diamond necklace that almost made me take him then and there in the morgue, and yet here we are skating without them."

"Maybe next year will be different. Something new."

Kate felt someone bump into her side. "I'm so sorry," she heard a familiar voice say. Kate turned and looked down. She gave as soft smile at the sight of familiar blue eyes.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading, alerting, favouring and reviewing my story. I will of course respond to all your kind reviews over the next couple of days. Being in the Mountains during the holidays is wonderful, except for the snow storms that knocks out the internet.<p>

Hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas ( or whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate) and I wish you all the very best this season.

Cheers,

Rini :D


	5. The Breaking of Ice

Chapter 5

The Breaking of Ice

* * *

><p>"Alexis?" The blue-eyed girl looked at Kate.<p>

"Detective Beckett, Dr. Parish? I'm so sorry. They, uh," The young girl pointed to the couple just ahead of them, who were paying more attention to each other than their surroundings.

"Don't worry about it." Kate looked over Alexis' head, searching for Castle.

"He's not here yet," Alexis said, "he and Grams are meeting me here."

"I wasn't...he is?" Kate looked at Lanie, giving her a 'did you set this up look?'

Her friend smiled and shook her head, before addressing Alexis. "How was your Christmas?"

Alexis eyes glowed in whimsy and she gave them a smile before gesturing for them to move forward. Lanie grabbed onto Kate's arm so she could be pulled along.

"It was good. Quiet. The apartment looked great. Dad outdid himself last week. He just sort of spewed Christmas everywhere, probably because there weren't any cases for him to occupy his time with."

Kate kept her face even knowing that he was probably just trying to distract himself from the fact that he saw her open his gift and stayed away because of it.

"Then, of course, he decided to make his own platform 9-3/4."

"Train noises too?" Kate asked.

"The entire time between movies. We watched **Love Actually** twice before he finally moved on to **Die Hard** and **A Christmas Story**."

Kate tried to hide her smile, but Lanie pounced on the information, "Aren't those some of your favourites?"

"I like them, yes."

"Too bad you and your Dad couldn't come for dinner," Alexis said, "we had more than enough food."

Kate didn't even both to look at Lanie to know that the M.E. was going to be salivating over that tidbit of information.

"What about you?" Alexis asked the two women before her, "Did you have a good Christmas?"

"Family. Food. Presents," Lanie said as she briefly touched her necklace and smiled, "it was really good."

Alexis smiled in kind and then looked at Kate.

"Mine was quiet."

"Dad mentioned you went to the cabin. I bet it's beautiful this time of year."

"It's like a wonderland," Kate said, "Snow. Lots of snow." And a bench, she thought, a bench for two under twinkle lights near the lake.

"Dad would capitalize on that. He loves a good snowball fight almost as much as laser tag. He-" Alexis stopped and looked around Kate.

The detective looked down at her arm and noticed that Lanie was no longer hanging on. Kate turned, expecting to see Lanie on the ice, but her friend had bode her time until they made their way over to the alcove where she had put her skates on earlier.

"Don't even think of coming to get me!" The M.E. said, "I am taking off these death traps and saying hello to a bench. But you two go. Have fun." The M.E. gave Kate a wave of encouragement.

"Do you have to go?" Alexis asked as she searched for her Dad.

"We are going out, but we can stay until your Dad and Grandmother get here."

The young girl smiled in relief and they fell into stride with each other. Alexis kept the pace strong and they started to weave around the same couple that bumped into Alexis earlier.

"I wish you and your Dad could have made it to Christmas dinner this year. Dad can't win an argument when you, Grams and I gang up on him."

Kate smiled at the memory of dinner they had after the bank explosion. It was a dinner she probably would never forget, not only because of the abundance of Martha's food, but rather it felt natural to be there. Comforting. Like she somehow belonged.

"For the record, you've saved him more times," Alexis said as small waves of wind picked up her fiery hair.

"I don't know about that."

"He doesn't count the first time that you two met at the launch party."

Kate looked at the young girl's profile as they skated. It was older now. Not worldly. A profile on the cusp of life ready to taste and feel things wider and deeper than before. Kate wondered if she had ever looked like that to her mother.

Alexis looked down as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "He's different now or maybe I'm just seeing different sides to him."

"Is that a good thing?"

The corner of Alexis' mouth lifted "I hope so." Befitting of a dancer, Alexis swiveled in fluidity, until she was skating backwards and facing the detective.

"You're good," the detective said.

"Dad use to bring me here a lot. Skating was never my thing, though. Do you come here often?"

"I use to."

Kate recognized that look. It was common enough when the subject of death was touched upon. A mother's death. What wasn't common was the emotion brimming behind Alexis' eyes. Kate had seen it once before after Alexis was reunited with her Grandmother and father after the bank explosion.

"Thank you for keeping your promise. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost them. Him." They rounded the corner and both glided around it crossing their feet over each other. One girl backwards, one woman moving forwards, meeting in the middle over a commonality. "I don't want to see him get hurt."

It was there in the young girl's eyes. Alexis wasn't just referring to the promise Kate made Alexis at the bank. This was about something else. Her father's happiness.

"Alexis, I-"

Kate's eyes shot to the couple who suddenly stopped just ahead. Kate sprinted ahead, grabbed Alexis' hand and pulled her to the side, around the oblivious couple.

"Thanks. I should have been paying...Detective Beckett?" Kate barely heard her. She was looking at their joined hands. Though both were wearing gloves, Kate still felt the warm. It was like a restart at the back of her mind. A distance memory of a mother's hand merging with this one. When she did look up she found Alexis looking at her, concerned. Expecting.

"I don't want to see that either." She let go of her hand.

"I know. It's just I never got a chance to tell you at dinner."

They started skating again, "You had other things on your mind at the time."

"Dad told you about my breakup?"

"He might have mentioned it. Would you rather he didn't?"

"I think back over these last couple of years and some of the advice he has given me. He spoke the words, but I think the inspiration for them came from somewhere else."

"I'm sure it was all him."

"Yeah, because he has always been _that_ understanding when it comes to his daughter dating and going away to college."

Kate smiled, "He worries about you."

"He's not the only one," Alexis said, "I had this whole year planned then it fell apart. Now Ashley is back in town."

"And you want to see him?"

Alexis nodded. "We broke up. I broke up with him. I am supposed to go to a New Years party but he will be there. How can you want to be close to someone, but at the same time want to push them away?"

Kate knew that feeling all too well.

"So I think I'll spend it with Dad. Watch the ball drop like old times."

"I'm sure he'd like that." Kate said quietly, feeling a faint hope dashed somewhere at the back of her mind.

Alexis searched Kate's eyes and after a few heart beats a soft smile commanded her features. "It was the weirdest thing."

"What was?"

"He turned down all the other invitations he got; it's like he was waiting for the right one to accept."

Before Kate could take a moment to decipher that comment, Alexis raised her arm and waved. She heard the sound of ice being cut with strong strokes getting closer and closer as was the intensity of his gaze.

Kate turned and saw him the first time in days. Dark coat. Jeans. A deep blue scarf around his neck, tucked into his collar. Each stride made his thighs push against the fabric of his jeans. Handsome. Sexy. She needed to look at his face.

"Fancy meeting you here," Castle said to Kate as he pulled up along side his daughter.

"It is quite the coincidence." Kate gave him a look suggesting that she knew that this was a set up.

"Where's Grams?"

"Warming the bench with the lovely Dr. Parish." They looked over and Martha and Lanie raised their cups in the air. "And providing the hot chocolate."

Alexis rubbed her arms, "Sounds great." She started to skate away before addressing Kate, "He has trouble staying on his feet."

"No, I don't," Castle said.

Alexis looked around, "There are no young kids to blame if you fall this time, Dad."

* * *

><p>They skated in silence for about two laps. Each time they passed, Lanie and Martha gave her knowing smiles. Castle gestured for his daughter to join them, but she just shrugged her shoulders and pointed to her hot chocolate.<p>

It was on the third lap when Castle managed to cut through the tension. He turned and started to skate backwards. Cocky grin in place.

"Show off."

His grin grew wider. "Am I impressing you with my ska-" his blade caught an edge and he almost fell. He stood up straight and moved to her side.

"Now, I'm impressed."

The tension between them fled thanks to their mutual laughs and lingering glances. "Anything planned for New Years?" he asked.

"The cabin."

"By yourself?"

"No, my Dad will be there." Which was a half truth. A step up from another lie. "Alexis said that you are roughing it at home."

"I am. Making my own food and everything."

"I thought you'd live it up."

"I'm very selective. Not everyone can handle ringing in the new year with me."

She bit her lip, stopping herself from asking him if he and Alexis wanted to come to the cabin on the weekend.

"How's your Dad?"

While their Christmas was quiet, it was emotional as well. The home movies took their toll in a good way. Her Dad seemed a bit off at times, but given the circumstances Kate understood.

"Good. We..." It was tiring trying to ignore what had happened at the precinct the previous week. Kate took a deep breath and charged on ahead. "We watched the home movies that you had converted. You've seen them."

"No I haven't."

She reached out and touched his arm. "You didn't watch them?"

His blue eyes turned remorseful. "Why would I?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"I didn't want to over step."

"The album wasn't you overstepping?" She asked, not in anger, but in awe over the fact that he wanted to spit hairs on this issue. She wouldn't let him.

"Yes. OK. I was stepping like a giant. I just...I just...I should have gotten you socks." He put up his hands in frustration over his good intentions. Kate felt the ice bobble beneath her blades. Bumps here. Scrapes there. Just like what was between them now. Another thing that was tiring.

"Castle-"

"Wooly, Christmas themed socks with little elves-"

"Castle!"

"What?"

"I loved the album."

His eyes lit up. "You did?"

She nodded.

He moved closer to her, so that their hands were almost touching. "So, I didn't overstep?"

"No, you did that."

"Oh." His shoulders slumped causing their hands to touch briefly. Neither jerked away. She moved closer so each stride was timed so their blades would not catch.

"But...you gave me my mother's voice again."

He reached out and two of his fingers brushed against her gloved pinky and then he bumped her lightly against her arm with his elbow. "So, better than socks?"

She chuckled. "I don't know, you were making your case with those elves."

"They were dancing and had hats."

"You shouldn't have said that. Now I want the socks."

"Too late because..."

He turned his blades to stop and didn't quite make it as a divot in the ice caught his edge. He reached out in instinct and the only thing close enough was her. Kate was jerked forward and she let out a stifled scream as she slammed into him.

The ice, tangled blades and gravity did the rest.

A second later Kate was lying on top of him on the ice. Across the rink concerned looks soon turned to smiles as Kate's laugh echoed across the rink, causing the remaining skaters on the rink to smile as well.

Kate felt the rumble in his chest as his laugh joined hers. Their eyes locked as they had done so many times over the years. Now it was deeper. A connection born out of friendship. Slow. Burning.

Their laughter dissipated. She brought her hands up with purpose of pushing off him, and yet she lingered. Scoured his features for the invitation that was always waiting for her.

Just a touch?

A stroke of his cheek or through his hair?

Just a kiss?

A slow and sure one that would suck the words from his breath?

It would be so easy.

Easy if there still wasn't so much distance for her to travel and prying eyes off in the distance.

She rolled off him and got to her feet. She looked down and saw his eyes dance as he pulled up his jeans and showed her the elf socks. "Sexy, right?"

"Oh, Castle, if only we weren't being watched." Castle looked up and saw that the other three women were watching them from the sidelines. Kate extended her hand and he took it, finally getting to his feet.

"I better go. After what I put Lanie through tonight I owe her a girl's night."

They started skating again. "Let me know who wins the pillow fight."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Pictures would help."

"I'm sure they would."

They stopped outside the alcove where Kate was going to take off her skates, "See you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Can I make paper airplanes out of your paperwork?"

"You can see Ryan and his new..uh, tan."

"I heard. Only half of his face. Hope that disappears before the wedding."

A shared smile led to an understanding, "Don't worry, I'll be there tomorrow."

"I'm not worried," she said.

"It's OK. I know. Now you won't have to set up another one of these meetings."

"What? I didn't even know you would be here."

"Whatever you say...Owl."

"I don't do pet names, Castle."

"Not pet. Code."

"For what?"

"To set this up." He gestured about the rink and then to his mother, "With my mother."

"Are you concussed?"

"Which sounds more realistic? Me pining away in my office concocting a scheme to meet you here or you pining away at the precinct staring at my chair scheming away?"

"The former! And I do not pine."

"Come on. When you look over at that empty chair you -"

"Feel a deep sense of serenity."

"Wrong. You miss your...partner. The precinct isn't the same without me."

Bold. Very bold. She could match it.

"The precinct is definitely not the same without you. Gates practically skips down the halls."

"You mean power walks. She's warming up to me though."

"Like the iceberg to the Titanic."

He moved in close to her and the small barrier that separated the ice from the outer ring was the only thing between them. "You should know, I have this charm."

"I should?"

"It's really a curse."

"I'm sure it is."

"Causes the strongest of women to eventually fall at my feet."

Kate let out a laugh. "I'm falling right now, can't you tell?"

Her words slipped and fell on the ice. Melted it. They both sunk to a place where a rhythm had been found. Their rhythm and by the look in his eyes he knew exactly what she meant.

"Don't worry. I'll catch you." He pushed away from the edge, "Until tomorrow, Kate."

He skated off to meet with his daughter, leaving Kate falling all the more.

* * *

><p>It was early Saturday morning. New Year's Eve was that night and while he was all set to spend time with Alexis, he couldn't shake the feeling that Kate wanted to ask him to spend New Years with her. All week there were moments when she would go to ask him something, but then change the topic. She was pulling him towards something. It was in her eyes, her laugh, her words. It gave him hope.<p>

He heard a faint knock at the front door followed by his mother's voice, "I got it! I got it!"

Rick let his mother deal with it as he looked up at the murder board before him. Solve it. For her. That's what was before him. It seemed so easy. Nothing between them was. Especially when he would have to tell her what he had been doing.

No. Not yet.

She was working through something. If their meeting at the rink was any indication, then that meant her wall was coming down. If that was the case, was she researching her mother's case again?

No. She wasn't showing signs of it like before.

He flicked off the computer screen and then moved towards the window staring out into the New York City life, bustling this way and that. Some people lost. Some searching. He wasn't either of those things. He had been found, by her, four years ago and he had no more reason to search. What they had was enough. It had to be.

"Dad?"

He turned and saw his daughter standing in the door way, "Yes, my progeny. Come forth and tell me what is troubling you." He patted the spot next to him for her to sit.

Alexis sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Did you have a good Christmas?" she asked.

"Of course. Even though you made me take down my trains." He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

"Next year."

"Yeah, next year."

The last morning sun of 2011 was findings its way to them. "It was good seeing Detective Beckett the other day."

"It was." Rick would never forget watching Kate skate with his daughter. They way she protected her by taking her hand and pulling her away from other skaters. It was the same feeling he felt when Kate had come to dinner and Kate and Alexis smiled and laughed together along with his mother. They were the women in his life. They made him happy. Truly happy.

"You really impressed her with your 'skating' skills."

He opened his mouth in mock horror. "I can't believe you just used air quotes."

Alexis linked her arm through her Dad's, "You should invite her over more often."

"Why? So you three can gang up on me?"

"Yes, and..." Alexis moved to the window. There wouldn't be too many more moments like this. With her living here. He knew he would have to let go, eventually.

"Does she still make you happy?"

He got up and followed her to the window and watched the sunlight kiss his daughter's face. Light. Innocent. Waiting for the world to deepen the smoothness of her skin with life lines.

"She does."

Alexis smiled as she looked out at the city. "Then about tomorrow night-"

"I have a stash of food, champagne, even though I know you won't drink it."

"I'm under aged."

"I'm checking your birth certificate. You seem far to mature for your own good."

"I've decided I'm going to the New Year's Party. Then I am staying at Juliette's." Her blue eyes were caressed by determination.

"You know I always love watching the ball drop with you, but I also know that it's best not to leave things unresolved." Rick couldn't resist and brought his daughter in for a hug and a kiss on the top of her head.

Alexis leaned back out, "Glad you think so." She left her father's embrace and stopped when she was at the doorway of his office, "Oh, you won't be watching the ball drop either."

"Why not?"

"There was an invitation delivered this morning for you. In person."

"From who?"

His daughter smiled. "Last name, Beckett."

* * *

><p>To all who have read, reviewed, alerted, favoured this story: Thank you for your kindness.<p>

May the New Year bring you happiness, good health and many brilliant Castle moments to salivate over.

Cheers,

Rini :D


	6. The Promise of Soon

Chapter 6

The Promise of Soon

* * *

><p>"<em>Legs or boobs?"<em>

"Don't you have both?" Kate said as she rose from the pullout couch in her Father's cabin, watching the fire crackle and sizzle before her.

"_Because Javi likes-"_

"I don't want to know," Kate interrupted.

Lanie sighed on the other end of the phone. _"I don't want the outfit to say that I miss him, but I want him to know what's he missing."_

"I think he knows both of those things." Kate watched small embers pop here and there, not falling far from their source. Some strayed to the brickwork at the base, glowing then turning dark.

"_Cleavage it is. So what about you?"_

"I have both too."

"_Yes, some people have definitely noticed. Speaking of, I heard that you never asked your sexy writer to spend New Year's with you."_

Kate had tried. Almost got the words out once or twice during the last couple of days. "Maybe next year."

"_Maybe,"_ Lanie said in a tone that suggested her friend had a lot more to do with the set up at the Rockefeller center than she was willing to let on. _"Your Dad there, yet?"_

"No. He should be here soon. He said he had a slow start this morning."

Kate got up and made her way from the living room into the kitchen. She put the kettle on the old, rustic stove before looking out the window above the sink at the group of birch trees beside her parked Crown Vic.

"_You sound worried," _Lanie said.

She watched a few finches scurry here and there, hopping, skittering from feeder to feeder. A few chickadees joined in as well. "I think he might be seeing someone."

"_What makes you think that?"_

"Little things. Odd phone calls. I don't want to pry and, well..."

"_You don't want to know."_

"It's none of my business," Kate said.

"_And you can't think of any other reason he might be acting this way?" _ There it was again. That tone.

"Do you?" Kate asked.

"_I might." _Lanie's voice brimmed with excitement_. _

"I can tell you are dying to tell me."

"_Not dying, just excited for you."_

"Why?" Kate asked, searching for her answers.

"_Come on. Rockefeller?"_

"Oh, you mean how you conspired with Martha to have Castle meet us there."

"_I told you that wasn't me."_

"Right. OK. What did you do this time? Send him pics from our girl's night?"

"_No. I should've. But no. ** I've **done nothing."_

"If it wasn't you, then-"

Kate's mind shot to a few days ago at the rink. Castle accused her of conspiring with his mother. She pushed thoughts of that aside and didn't really think about it for the next couple of days; she just assumed it was Lanie. Now, it was clear. The only other person she had told about skating with Lanie was...

"He didn't."

"_An owl, a fox and I even think they got a little red hen in on this latest one._"

"Latest one?"

Kate heard the crunching of gravel and snow as her Dad's truck came up the driveway. She squinted and saw two figures in through the windshield.

"Oh...he wouldn't." Kate watched her father park the truck, get out and then, sure enough, she saw Castle get out from the passenger side. "He would," Kate whispered.

"_I think that is my cue to go. Don't forget about next weekend. Dresses are calling us."_

"Yeah, uh-"

Lanie let out a chuckle. _"Happy New Year, Kate." _

Kate put down the phone, not knowing if it was all-consuming happiness or commonplace annoyance she was feeling. Both. One more than the other. The one that made her look down at her clothes and give a run through her hair with her fingers as she went outside. Once out on the porch, Kate leaned against the log pillar and watched Castle get his bag out of the truck.

Jim gave her a smile as he approached, "Look who I found."

"Where? At his apartment?"

"Always the last place you look." Jim gave her arm a squeeze before packing the groceries into the kitchen.

Castle walked up the path and stopped at the bottom of the stairs; his hair and face too touchable for his own good.

"What?" He gave her an innocent look.

"Those are some_ giant_ steps you're taking again."

He pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed to her, "You just have to keep up."

She opened it and read it aloud, "Spend New Year's with me?" She flipped the paper down at his ridiculousness only to find that the trap she had just fallen into snapped into place. All that remained was his smile.

"Why, Detective Beckett, I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

><p>Kate placed the lid over the pot then started to clean up the knives and cutting board. The smell of homemade chicken soup, that would eventually hold dumplings, filled the small cabin. As she inhaled she held back her smile over her father telling Castle yet another story.<p>

"Flap Jack?" Castle asked.

"He doesn't want to hear about him," Kate said to her father. She ran the water in the sink with soap and started piling the dishes in it.

"I do. I really do. Was this 'smelled like wet flannel and clove cigarettes' boy?" Castle asked Jim before getting up from his tool to stand next to Kate. He bumped her with his hip and snatched the dishcloth from her.

"You've heard about him, I see." Jim gave his daughter a look, "He wore that flannel shirt every time I saw him, and he called me Jimbo."

She bumped Castle with her hip to get him away from the sink, but he stood his ground, "Fine, but he had a name. Jackson Samuels." She threw the wash cloth at the writer and then picked up the drying towel.

"That's right. Your mother thought you'd lost your mind. You dated him for eight months because I told you not to," Jim said.

Kate turned to face her father, "That wasn't the only reason. You and mom wouldn't let me get the Soft Tail even though I had been saving for it. He was for shock value."

"Sweetheart, we thought you'd grow out of wanting that death trap and that grunge fest of a boy."

"So how did you get the bike in the end?" Castle asked Kate.

"I saw an opportunity," she replied.

"Meaning?"

She shrugged her shoulders at his question, so he flicked some suds at her. She slapped his arm with the towel enjoying the relaxed feeling that she felt since he showed up. It was the simplicity of enjoying someone's company, no matter what was or wasn't between them.

"It means that she gave her mother and I an offer that we couldn't refuse: a Flap Jack for a Soft Tail," the older man said from his position at the island.

Kate turned back around and picked up another dish, "I never regretted that trade even though he showed up again a week after I broke things off to win me back."

"You can't blame the guy for trying," Castle said, "Did you take him back?"

She sidled until her hip was against the sink and she was facing Castle. "Mom told me that he didn't even make it through the front door." She gestured to her father.

"As a father, I approve of whatever you did," Castle slung the comment over his shoulder at Jim.

Jim chuckled. "You always did things on your own time. That hasn't changed much, snooze button."

Kate let out a burst of laughter, "That was one of her favourites."

"Your mom?" Castle asked.

"One that didn't make it into the album." She shot him a glance before adding, "She always said, 'Some change allows us to be our own masters of time, the trick is to know when the right time to stop hitting the snooze button.'"

"I like it," Castle said.

"She would have liked you, Rick," Kate's father said.

Castle look over at her father then at her. She nodded in agreement. Any silence that wanted to settle was diffused by Castle placing a big wad of suds on Kate's nose.

Kate wiggled her nose to get the suds off, causing Castle to laugh. She rubbed them away with her hand, then grabbed the washcloth from him, "You need to go play outside for a while."

"Yes! Put your burly woodsman to work."

"Wearing a plaid shirt doesn't make you a woodsman."

"Chopping some wood for the fire will."

"You and an axe? We aren't that close to a hospital." She gazed out the window.

It was dark, but the twinkle lights that were strewn about the house lit up the area enough to see. "There is something you can do."

Kate threw the cloth in the water, put her hand on his chest, backing him until he was at the door. She reached into the small cupboard at the edge of the kitchen and handed him a bag, shoving it against his chest.

Castle looked down at it. "My specialty." He put on his shoes and coat and made his way outside.

Kate watched him make his way out to the small area where a handful of bird feeders were. As she washed the dishes she watched him. Jim came up beside her and started to dry the dishes from the rack.

"Huh, I always wondered why your mother insisted that I put the bird feeders there."

"You've had your fun, or should I say, you and Martha have had your fun."

"Never could keep anything from you." Jim dried a few more dishes before checking his watch. "I'm heading out now."

"What? It's still early and there is enough dinner for an army."

"I know, but there will be food there and I am the designated driver. There and back safely."

Kate nodded. "Call if you need any help."

Jim put on his jacket and then his boots in readiness, but stopped by the door, waiting for his daughter to look at him. "You should give him your gift. I think he would appreciate it."

Kate looked down at the suds in the sink. All of them fading as the seconds ticked on by.

"He's here as your partner."

Partner. That had taken on a whole new meaning in the past years and after she had been shot.

"Just in case...do me a favour?" Kate asked.

"Anything."

"Give Castle the same speech you gave Flap-Jackson the night he came to get me back."

Jim's eyes crinkled at the side, lines of joy in plain view. "You heard that?"

"It was a good speech. He tripped over the garbage can as he ran away from you."

"I don't know. Do you really want me to scare this one away?" Jim said.

"Trust me, even if I wanted to, I couldn't get rid of him that easily." Kate gave a quick look to the man trying to get the birds to feed out of his hand.

"See you in the New Year, Sweetheart."

Kate gave him a warm smile as he left the cabin. She looked out the kitchen window and watched as Jim made his way out to Castle. A few minutes later the bag of bird seed fell and Castle took a few steps back, nodding profusely at Jim.

Kate's father let out a laugh and pointed to the kitchen window before heading towards his truck.

"Very funny, Beckett," Castle yelled to her; his expression still pale.

Kate gave him a salute then finished doing the dishes.

* * *

><p>"Who knew you could make dumplings and chicken soup from scratch?"<p>

She shot him a look from over her coffee cup. They had just finished dinner and had cleaned up, settling down for some coffee in front of the fire.

"Your Styrofoam temple was a rouse all along, wasn't it?"

Kate took a sip of her hot drink from the other end of the sofa, keeping a watchful eye on Castle who had decided to search the nooks and crannies that he wasn't able to explore earlier.

There was an old TV in the corner, but no cable. There was no need for it. Shelves of books lined the walls along the fire place, only separated by two large windows that looked out over the lake.

Castle made his way along the titles. So many journeys Kate must have went on as a child. All the worlds she visited. Some of the same journeys he went on. Maybe they met somewhere between the lines and were two young to notice.

At the edge of the book shelf there were carvings on the logs. Lines made by a knife were accompanied by numbers, dates. Castle knelt and then ran his fingers all the way down.

"You were a regular been stalk, weren't you?"

He heard her place her coffee cup on the table, then the squeak of the springs from the couch. "My height can't be that fascinating."

"All of it is fascinating and mysterious."

Kate made her way over to him and ran her finger down, stopping in the middle. "I was so gangly at that age. I thought I would turn into an Amazonian woman."

"Well, your legs never seem to end."

She made her way up to the top and ran her finger over the date, 12/99. The last one of the series, "I was taller than her by then. When your young you can't imagine being as tall as your parents, then suddenly I was."

Castle turned and was about to walk into the kitchen to get a small knife, but he saw that a pencil was closer. He retrieved it from the coffee table then came back to her side.

"Here, turn around."

"Castle..."

"Come on. Let's see how much you've grown."

Kate did as he asked. A rarity that he savoured.

"Back straight," he said, "hey, no tip-toes."

He moved in close and placed his hand on the top of her head and ran the pencil along it. There was only a fraction of a difference between the dates as he wrote '12/11' beside it.

They caught each others gaze. An endless game it seemed since the first day they met. Back and forth. Some days it was too intense and it ended in a draw, both going back to respective corners. Other days they held fast, waiting for the other to say that the game was over and that they were both victorious. Today wasn't either. Today it was a gently game not for spoils or victory. They played for the chance to be by each others side. On equal footing. On truthful footing.

Kate moved to the side and turned him around to where she once stood, "All right, now your turn."

"Really?"

"You must have had one of these growing up." She stood on her tip toes to get a better look. Her face was close to his. Dangerous territory since her lips were wet from deep caffeinated flavours.

"I did with Alexis, but Mother and I moved around a lot when I was young, so there was no real incentive to have one."

"Must've been tough."

He shrugged as she drew the line, "Stand still," she scolded.

Castle smiled at the furrow between her eyes. Damn sexy. "New schools. New people. New adventures," he eventually said.

"New friends?" She looked into his eyes, while her fingers fiddled with the pencil.

"Sometimes. Always books and comics. You're never alone when you pretend to be Batman."

Kate tilted her head to the side as if she just saw a new meaning to a painting she'd been staring at for years. "Finished, let's have a look."

They both moved back and stared at the new lines.

"Not that much distance between us," Castle said, wishing the some distance would disappear all together.

"Not as much as I thought," Kate gave him a bump with her elbow, then headed to the couch and pulled out a large wooden box that had doodles all over it. Typical stuff like hearts and starts, but also quotes, band stickers and random doodles. She placed it on the coffee table and looked at him, "Care to peruse my collection?"

"I will peruse anything of yours."

"Let's start with this." She lifted the lid to reveal a box filled with comic books.

He ran his fingers down the tabs that separated each collection of Marvel and DC Comics. ** Elecktra **was there, of course, so was a multitude of **Batman,** **X-Men, Green Lantern** and even some **Superman**. His finger stopped at a tab labelled 'Merry Christmas, Castle'.

He looked over at her, "I thought you said no presents?"

"I took a page from your book," she said.

He pulled out the comic and felt excitement bundle in his stomach as the comic book was revealed. "How did you?...When did you?..."

"Remember Paul Whittaker? I contacted him after the case and asked him if he would put our story to a comic."

Castle read the title, "The Adventures of K-Becks & Writer Boy Issue #1." He let out a squeak of excitement, opening the first page and saw an artist's rendering of him the first time they met, their first case together.

"I couldn't give him all the details of course, but there is enough there, I think," she said as she inched closer to him.

Castle sat back on the couch, flipped through a couple more pages. It was all there. She must have written down the story before hand and given it to Paul. She even go their dialogue, her short hair, and his scruffy facial hair. Kate had remembered every detail. So had he. It was a moment he would never forget.

Castle looked at her and found that her face was rosy and her eyes picked up some of his excitement.

"I'm never going to figure you out, am I?"

Kate leaned over and place her hand on his forearm, squeezing in reassurance. "You have time." She got up and he turned back to the comic.

"You were so straight-laced, back then," he called out to her.

"No, I wasn't," she called back.

"You rarely smiled. I swear you were trying to win every stoic award."

"I smiled when you weren't around. You were-are an arrogant ass."

"Checking out my ass, huh?" He flipped over to the next page, "It's all right here. I shook things up in all the right ways for you then."

He felt his coat hit the back of his head, "You and your ego can go outside. I'll meet you out by the bench."

He placed his gift on the box before him and swung his coat around to put it on. She was disappearing down the hall to her room.

"You're still bossy as ever. That won't change."

"You got that right," she said before she closed her bedroom door.

* * *

><p>The night sky swarmed with gauze like clouds. The stars slipped in and out beyond the tree line, expecting whatever crossed under their gaze to entwine together someday.<p>

Rick made his way down the small trail from the cabin to the lake. It looked like drops of white and dark blue paint had fallen out of the sky hitting the earth as a perfect mistake. It was probably more like a pond, but as Jim had explained to him, when Katie was young she thought it was a lake and so it became a lake.

At the end of the trail stood a bench. A log had been cut in half, one for the seat and one for the back. It stood low to the ground facing a beautiful view. Lights from other cabins flickered across the water and ice. It was quiet. Peaceful. Healing.

Soon she joined him, sitting at his side so their arms touched. She was bundled up in a black coat and a deep green scarf snuck a peek at the world through the front of it. Her hair fell lose, free; her features relaxed, yet etched in thought.

"The fireworks should start soon. It's no Time Square, just the cabins across the lake."

"Yes, but here I'm not being elbowed by strangers, just you."

Her gaze was constant out over the view, "I sat out here quite a bit over the summer."

"I can understand why and why you needed to go."

The first crack was heard off in the distance. Ignited from the earth, shoots of colour propelled into the sky. Seconds later, spindles of confetti like sparks burst, spun, and shot this way and that.

"I read your book while I was here. You sent it to my Dad."

"I didn't think you wanted it." Which was the truth. He never felt more unwanted than last summer. Silence from her was like a torture technique. It was too much and he let anger fester over the months during her absence. It wasn't there now. Maybe it should be, but what would be the point? He loved her. It didn't trump all, but he knew there would be more moments on the horizon when it would be tested. A test that neither of them would fail at when the time was right.

Another firework cracked and popped through the air. Their faces stood aglow instead of the stars and the moon. Kate stood and made her way to the shore's edge. Rick followed and stood next to her as the spectacle before them threw fire bred marvels and delights.

"For the second time in my life I took refuge in your writing. I made sure you weren't there for me and yet you were there anyway. In anyway you could. I won't forget that. I can't."

Spirals and spindles rolled in the sky giving a back drop for his words, "Let's make a deal. No matter what 2012 brings, by the end of it we meet here again."

"You want me to RVSP for New Year's Eve 2012?"

"I do."

"And Christmas?"

"I'm afraid so," he said as another firework hit the air.

"Deal."

Kate turned to him. Her smooth skin picking up the flickering and smatterings of colours from the sky.

"Happy New Year," she whispered. Her hands gripped his forearms and she leaned up the fraction of the distance that is left. Rick felt her breath hover over his lips. Just a fraction of movement on his part and their lips would join. It was there in her eyes too. Wanting. Seeking union.

He didn't though.

There as another look at the back of her green wonders, a secret look that was in his eyes as well. One day soon it would be nothing but equal and truthful footing.

Kate's head moved just enough so her lips found the side of his cheek. Dangerous territory since their senses were skyrocketing just as much as the fireworks beside them. He expected her to move away, but she lingered.

He closed his eyes and counted.

Three? No. Four heart beats. Their heart beats.

Kate pulled away from him. Eventually, he opened his eyes, welcomed by a quick smile and her red-tinged cheeks.

One day she will capture his lips just as she did his heart. One day she would be ready. And he would be there.

"You have horrible aim," he said, shaking his head in mock dismay.

Her eyes flew wide in shock, then grew narrow in jest. "Well, Castle, it's a new year, maybe I'll improve." She put her hand back on his chest. "Close your eyes."

Rick couldn't read her expression other than the few playful flecks in her eyes. He did as she asked and felt her hand leave. He didn't hear anything except for the remaining fireworks shooting overhead. Then he heard footsteps crunching in the snow.

"OK. Open."

He did, just in time to see a snowball heading his way. It hit him squarely in the chest and bits of snow few up into his face. Kate's laugh followed.

"How was my aim that time?"

Castle wiped the snow from his chin and nodded. "You realize that you are in for a world of defeat, right?"

"Let's see what you've got."

He swooped down into the snow and cupped the cold substance into his hands, only to be pelted in the side of the head with another snowball. He let out a yelp before looking for his target, whose laugh now echoed all around him.

"Prepare for complete annihilation."

"Bring-it, Writer Boy."

* * *

><p>Sunlight waved hello in delicate rays through her windows of her apartment. She stretched her hands high above her head, then rolled her shoulders in a cat like manner. Kate picked up her empty bowl, that only had a few remains of the oatmeal and cranberries at the bottom, and took a final sip of her coffee before placing the contents into the sink.<p>

It was a New Year and new case was upon them as well. Late last night a naked man fell and hit a vegetable stand. They were still running leads, but Kate had gone home to catch a couple of hours of sleep while Lanie did her magic.

It had been a couple of days since her return from the cabin with Castle. The snowball fight ended in a draw and they agreed to continue it next Christmas. The rest of the evening was spent reading comics together by firelight. They fell asleep on the couch, feet and legs tangled.

Now, Kate made her way over to her desk and opened the shutters as she answered her phone.

"Beckett."

"_Got a new lead of the naked man that fell from the sky," _Esposito said.

"Window, not sky."

"_I'll send you and Castle the info, unless..."_

"Unless?"

"_You know, unless I don't need to send it to both of you."_

"What exactly are you implying?"

"_I heard you and Castle spent New Years together."_

"Really? Because I heard you and Lanie did as well," she countered.

Kate heard him clear his throat, _"I've got work to do so..."_

"Right. See you in a few."

She hung up from Esposito and looked down at the wooden box that rested on the widow sill beneath the shutters. It had yet to claim it's prize: her mother's murder board. She pulled one of the papers off from the bottom of the shutters as she dialed Castle's number.

"_Kate...Hi." _His voice was low, deep. Just how she liked it. "_Miss me already?"_

Yes, of course she did. "I just saw you last night."

"_Yes. I remember. There was nakedness."_

"Not ours."

"_Sadly, no. So, is this for business or pleasure?"_

She bit her lip as she reached out with her spare hand grabbing another one of the papers from the shutters and placed it in the box.

"Both. We have a new lead on the naked man."

"_The one that fell from the sky?" He teased._

She started to shake her head at his youthfulness. "Window, Chicken Little."

"_I'll be there...so what's the pleasure part of this conversation? Other than hearing your voice."_

"How's the arm?" she asked.

"_I will survive. How's your oh-so-fine butt, Detective?"_

"The snow and ice broke my fall. So it's fine, as always." He was quiet for a moment, too quiet. "What is it?"

"_I was thinking-"_

"Dangerous pastime."

"_Ha-ha." _There was another pause on the other end of the phone. _"About this weekend? A perusal of my collection is in order."_

She looked at the shutters before her. The patchwork of light made its way through now that some of the papers were now in the box before her. Only patches though.

"Lanie and I are going dress shopping for the wedding and then there is the wedding." She plucked another piece of paper from the murder board and then another. More light came through as she placed the papers in the box. "How about...soon?"

"_Promise?"_

She smiled into the phone and remembered the warmth of his cheek underneath her lips. Kate wanted to kiss him by the lake. One day she would. She would kiss him senseless. Witness. Wordless. Kiss him free and clear with soul intention of telling him that she wanted him and only him and that she was ready to move from friend to lover.

One day. It was close.

Kate looked up at the top row, where her mother's picture still was.

"I promise. Soon."

* * *

><p>Hope all of you had a safe and wonderful holiday. This story was always meant to be a gap filler during the hiatus, so I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my work. Until next we meet, my fabulous readers.<p>

Cheers,

Rini :D


End file.
